SNFU / FYULABA

1.Stepstranger
2.You Make Me Thick
3.Bobbitt
4.Better Than Eddie Vedder
5.Don't Have The Cow
6.Fate
7.Dean Martian
8.Charlie Still Smirks
9.Spaceghost, The Twins & Blip
10.My Pathetic Past
11.Michelle Pfeiffer's Diaper
12.The Kwellada Kid
13.Elfie Schlegel
14.Gaggle Of Friends

STEPSTRANGER
tv's loud and screams at me again reminds me of my mom fighting with my new stepdad who the hell are you? all you do is fuck my mom and eat her food why should i listen to you? you are a stranger to me and you will always be paying the rent won't buy you ownership stocking the fridge won't get you my respect trust and friendship are something you should earn you sir, are nothing but a wiggly worm

YOU MAKE ME THICK
i'm a talking, walking stick blow me over in the wind i want to be paper thin i want to fart through silk head in the toilet bowl two fingers down my throat vomit dripping off of my lips stop trying to make me thick kate moss is my role model one high priced bag of bones tell me is she chic or just a glamorous freak face down in the toilet bowl two fingers stuck down my slimey throat i am a stick i am a walking, talking stick

BOBBITT
penis severed off with a butcher knife only to be sewn on again a permanent notch on his crotch will it ever stiffen again? he better keep it in his pants this time or he might lose it for good now he's doing porno films does anybody care for sausage? get it up throbbing johnny bobbitt throbbing johnny lost it she lopped it of while it was throbbing bobbitt, bobbitt she lopped it off while it was throbbing now, stop it

BETTER THAN EDDIE VEDDER
he seemed shy and so confused now that he's older, he's last year's news she is looking for somebody fresh and young she is looking for someone less miserable she's looking for somebody better much better than eddie vedder his pictures used to line her locker but they don't hang there any longer she has gone, and she has burned them all eddie comes crashing down from her bathroom wall and now she's looking for somebody cuter someone much fun who rides a scooter eddie hides his face under a jokeshop mask eddie, you missed the grade, you failed the test

DON'T HAVE THE COW
you should have listened to your mother and ate your veggies when you were younger you should have listened to your parents and doubled up on your peas and carrots even though i eat meat i appreciate the irony now that the cows are going mad the vegetarians are laughing at us now well this just make you want to hate them even more and if you indulge in that then you're no smarter than the slab of beef you eat the one that's now driving you mad hate to be an i told you so but i fucking told you so meat is murder and it's killing you what the hell are you going to do? hate to be an i told you so

FATE
dogboy climbed the tower not sure if he'd jump or fall the driver of the big black hearse he sat there waiting, waiting for the worst the town was elated when the boy climbed down on his own the driver of the big black hearse he sat there waiting, waiting for the worst call it luck well i call it fate the sun shines over the small town the graveyard is no place for the young the graveyard is no place for anyone

DEAN MARTIAN
i had a dream that i saw dean yes i saw dino in my dream he had the body of an alien visiting planet earth for the weekend dean martin was a martian approach with extreme caution he was drinking a dry martini he couldn't hear me he couldn't see me he was wearing a thong bikini picked up a pitch fork then killed jerry

CHARLIE STILL SMIRKS
a starlet lay dead her blood's on the fridge those hippies, they've gone too far once they were passive, they did too much acid while freaking out at the farm and charlie is up again for parole today and charlie still smirks behind rusted bars today they won't let him out you know but that's ok charlie deserves to die in jail some day needed a leader to make them feel bigger than their parents ever could some went to jail, some they found god i head axl rose gave him a blowjob

SPACEGHOST, THE TWINS, AND BLIP
spaceghost, the twins, and blip were busy fighting the cosmic witch she jumped in her craft and sped away leading them on a high speed chase spaceghost, the twins, and blip defending the cosmos in a spaceship spaceghost, the twins, and blip exploring the cosmos in a spaceship her vessel crashed but she got away vowed revenge on spaceghost one day he raised his fist in victory but had he really won?

MY PATHETIC PAST
no prize for congeniality never knew popularity this ugly stick had wished to one day become a swan always picked last for sports teams got cheated out of my wet dream i missed out on teenage sex was too busy beating off to reader's digest and i can't help but laugh at my pathetic past from now on things will be different every day will now be recess beaten up by football jocks forced to hide in toilet stalls chased home by rabid dogs i somehow survived it all kick me sign taped to my back well i had to run out of my art class shit rolling out of my slacks chasing me down the stairwell

MICHELLE PFIEFER'S DIAPER
had a vision of michelle pfiefer wearing nothing but a diaper squatting over a roman candle dancing around in rhinestone sandals hey well i don't know how that thought got in there had a vision of tug mcgraw his ass was beaten red and raw wearing nothing but a baseball cap aluminum bat sticking out of his crack hey well i don't know how that thought got in there

THE KWELLADA KID
he had an itch that wouldn't stop he caught it from someone who didn't wash he had a nest for a crotch he had one big piece of hot property he's just a kid the kwellada kid he had an itch only kwellada could fix he was afraid to drop his pants he was embarrassed by the nasty rash cause it was in the shape of all of italy his penis was his scratching post he's going back to the town he's gonna hunt that creature down he's gonna pull its panties down and eat those crabs for lunch

ELFIE SCHLEGEL
pulled a muscle i popped a joint my useless body is falling apart i used to be limber i used to have finesse but now i'm just a pencilneck and it wasn't always this way yes i remember way back in the day i used to somersault like elfie schlegel coming off the uneven bars saw my chiropractor my question he did answer said you better take care you better get some medicare went to my doctor said you're not getting younger you're no spring chicken pigeon

GAGGLE OF FRIENDS
so and so's a lawyer you know who's a nurse what's his name got murdered jim now wears a dress and carries a purse a gaggle of friends in high school i know none of them now cleared my memory of them here's what i heard through the rumor mill so and so's a lawyer you know who's a nurse what's his name got murdered jim now wears a dress and carries a purse the one voted most likely to succeed now works at dairy queen the jock who used to beat me up daily now sells his ass to men for money me, i play in a punk rock band don't see it as a fault may not be the richest but i'm doing what i want